I am pretty sure there are other people
like me out there who feel like they don’t fit it in wherever they are. Be it
is at work, school or whatever environment or circumstances it could be. For
most parts of my life I felt like I don’t belong; that perhaps no one really
understand me and I feel judged. Actually not even my own mother understands
me. She questions every other move I make although not so much in a negative
way. My whole being is literally lost, I don’t know what I can identify with.
My home and birthplace are so strange to me. I don’t hate the place, I just
don’t understand it. I don’t know What makes me feel How, who I am or why I do
what I do. Basically my soul is confused.
The reason I get to love and appreciate
tremendous diversity as such in big cities like London is because everything is
possible and that means there's less judgement for a small person like me. You
get so much freedom that way. I grew up in a small village so you can forget
about such freedom. Why would one person be tied down to one personality? Why
can't I be different people in one lifetime and do different things? Why can't
I experience everything there is to experience?*
Good example is the fact that I like
spending time with people who like being alone. They give me a good combination
of company and silence all at the same time. I'm really curious of what's
outside my comfort zone, outside my personality, outside my country, outside my
universe until there is no outside anymore. I dream of being in big cities or
out alone in the wilderness. Places where I can be insignificant. Places where
I'm unknown. Where I can just wonder around observing and be different things at
once. Somebody please free my soul!
*For the level of intelligence and
emotional development at which we are as a species, our life cycle and life
expectancy are way too short for us to explore maximally.
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